TT2 | Monday Report | Perth - Alston (220 miles)

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TT2 | Monday Report | Perth - Alston (220 miles)

Knowing that today would be a bank holiday we've decided to spend another day in Scotland rather than brave the holiday traffic home. A group of us have booked an activity day with 1st Lotus Driving School at Crail Airfield. The others have been there all day as we roll up at lunchtime after an uninspiring drive from Perth. Just in time for the barbeque!

Over lunch I learn what has been going on so far. Highlight of the morning has been the skid pan. A pleasant mix of diesel and water is covering a small oval circuit which would explain why everyone smells of the stuff. Vehicles on the skid pan so far have been the Elises, a Toyota Landcruiser, a quad bike and a bus! The bus is now acting as a wind shelter for the benefit of the barbeque - Willie owns some quality toys. The Noble M12 is also present, with Andrew giving passenger rides around the airfield. The airfield has a circuit layed out on it across the runways and link roads.

As soon as I've finished eating Andrew takes me over to the skid pan. I've always wanted a go but never had the opportunity until now. First impressions are quite intimidating. The oval is not that big and the tyre wall seems very close. My first few laps are quite tentative as I feel my way around. There's no understeer (good!) but I'm having trouble instigating lift-off oversteer as Andrew suggests. When I lift off nothing happens so I dab the brakes to make the rear end break away. This tends to just lock the front wheels. I learn that I just have to wait a bit longer. Enter the corner, lift off, wait... and eventually the back swings round nice and slowly. Correct the steering, open the throttle, correct some more and smile! It's almost balletic. By the end of the session we're provoking oversteer in all sorts of ways. Lift-off oversteer, power oversteer, a dab of the handbrake and even just an extra twist of the steering wheel was enough to swing the rear end out - what fun! The biggest challenge is holding the car against opposite-lock for as long as possible on the exit of each corner. I could do this all day.

Next up Andrew shows me the airfield circuit. He drives the car to scrub the diesel off the tyres and save me from going off at the first corner. This is a fast circuit with some very scary corners. There's a short technical section at the end of the lap which has a very fast entry into a left hand bend and then a hairpin right around a cone which is hidden from view until you're right on top of it. I balls it up completely on my first lap 'cos I can't remember where the cone is. Next time round I carry more speed towards the cone and Andrew is calmly suggesting that I brake. As the hairpin cone comes into view I realise that there's not much room on the exit between the cone and a tyre wall. I lose as much speed as I can in the limited space available and flick the car into the corner. I figure I've done enough and floor it on the exit, we drift towards the tyre wall missing it by centimetres. Andrew give me a look suggesting "you were lucky" but I knew it would be OK! A good time to pit methinks.

Soon afterwards Andrew lays out a different circuit and we all cruise round for a couple of laps to see how it runs. This one's even faster - it's almost a big square! I run for a few laps but it's murdering the car. The surface is grippy but it's also very rough and there are lots of stones about. I decide to give the car a rest and take a few photos instead. One of the marshalls offers me a lift on his quadbike down the main straight to one of the fastest corners. So I jump on and we tear down the runway with me hanging on for dear life. These 350cc quads can really shift. Andrew is driving Georgie's car and as soon as he sees the camera he puts the car into a 360-degree spin. It must be great driving other people's cars all day! After a few more shots I jump back on the quad bike and head back to safety.

I fancy another stint on the skid pan and take Jaye along as a passenger. A few minutes later the marshall on the quad bike turns up and tells us that the ¹/₄ mile drag racing is about to start. Cool! I quickly try to get the diesel off my tyres or else this is going to be embarassing. We start of loosely grouped into pairs of cars with similar engine power. We have standard cars, a 111S, a B&C 160 and Sport 160's. I can't remember exactly how it went but basically it all comes down to the start. I was piling on way too much revs and having to control wheelspin all the way through 1st gear. A memorable run was losing a car length to Jaye on the start and then powering back to finish a car length ahead. Quite a surprise considering they are both standard(ish) cars. I was also able to keep Tom's B&C 160 conversion honest. He pulled away but it was slight. Funniest part of the drag racing was trying to spin the rear tyres over a patch of water to get them hot before the start. The idea is to reverse back towards a freshly hosed line of water and then when you reach the water, nail it in 1st gear and sit stationary with the wheels spinning. Most of us (me included) don't quite know what all this is about and sort of do a token wheelspin, sort of in the right place. But Milan just can't get the hang of it at all, much to the amusement of the marshalls.

Last activity of the day is riding the quad bikes. There is a purpose-built course and the quad-riding marshall drives a lap as we watch from the side. Jaye is the first to go and he's ridden one of these things before. In fact he used to own one! It's all looking fairly easy until the next punter has a go. Now we see what it's like for someone who's never ridden one before and it looks like a long way to fall if it turns over. And turning it over is looking like a distinct possibility! My turn arrives and I'm shown the controls. It's got a thumb-operated thottle like the gear shifter on a mountain bike and it's so pokey it's really hard to drive it smoothly. Full throttle it is then! It's when I hit the first bump that I see the main flaw in the thumb-throttle design. It's hard enough just to hang on to the handlebars without your thumb but holding it on the thottle at the desired position is just impossible. I lurch around the circuit and start to get the hang of the thing. By the end of the lap I'm starting to enjoy myself but it's bloody hard work and my forearms are begging me to stop. I seem to have made a respectable time but now it's Andrew's turn and he does a pretty good job. The plan was for everyone to now go again on an official timed lap (the first being a warmup). But time is getting on and not many people are that keen on another go. So the final comes down to a handful of us. Willie goes first and flies round - it is his course and his quad after all! Then Jaye and then me. Like always I try too hard and overcook it into the first corner. I'm sure I'm about to roll the thing over as I mount the tyres on the outside of the circuit. But the bloody thing just hangs in and I end up driving down the first straight with the left hand side of the quad on top of the tyre wall. By the time I wrestle the thing off the tyres my arms are begging me to stop. Knowing that all is lost I cruise back to the finish and nurse my aching arms. Last to run is Andrew who starts very well before falling off. And it looks like it hurt! Andrew limps back to the start and Willie is declared the winner.

It's been a fantastic day. The sun has shone all day, the activities have been great fun and Willie and the marshalls have been really great in helping us get the most out of our day at Crail. Not forgetting Andrew - professional as ever and a great laugh into the bargain. And what a bargain... Ł35 for the day! But it's now about 5pm and we still have a very long way to drive today. We say our goodbyes and hit the road. We skirt the Fife coast back to the Forth Road Bridge and then head for the A70 which is the route we took into Edinburgh on Friday. I can't bear to repeat the sorry mess we got into trying to get off the Edinbugh ring road after missing our exit from the M8. Not fun. Not fun at all. We eventually get ourselves onto the A70, an enjoyable if slightly straight route south west. Roadkill incident number 2 arrives when a bunny hops out into the middle of the road. I aim for the middle and hope it can duck. I don't feel anything as I drive over but I'm told he didn't make it.

The roads are quiet and we push on cross country through the Borders towards Cumbria...

After 6 weeks I still haven't finished this report so I'll end it here. If you got this far I don't know whether to offer you congratulations or ridicule!